Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Flying Spaghetti Monster Promises Hope for LGBTs

(Link) An amusing response to the Creationist crowd, the Flying Spaghetti Monster offers love and a special heaven for all -- a stripper-filled volcano that spews beer. Two new newly-published volumes of gospel feature anagrams of wisdom that praise homosexuality!

1 comment:

LNewsEditor said...

JIC Post:
From GayWired

The simultaneous publication of two books advancing the idea that the universe was created by an entity composed primarily of pasta may indicate a dramatic schism in one of the world's newest religions.

God Speaks! The Flying Spaghetti Monster in His Own Words, by gay author Jon Smith was published on the same day that a book by the movement's founder arrived in bookstores across the nation.

The schism potentially has broad implications for gays and lesbians. The publication of Smith's book coincides with the publication of the first book by the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) movement's founder, Bobby Henderson, as well as with a growing debate over the teaching of intelligent design as a scientific theory.

The competing titles reflect the growth of a cult-like Internet following of the FSM theory espoused by Henderson, an Oregon physics graduate and self-appointed head of a movement known as Pastafarianism, which posits that the universe was created by a creature comprised largely of noodles.

Henderson's book, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, published by Villard Books, may herald the arrival of an influential voice within the intelligent design debate plaguing school systems across the U.S. The publication of the competing title by Jon Smith, however, offers evidence that this belief system, like many before it, may well be headed toward rapid fragmentation, or its own evolution.

As Smith says, "This is a reformation. Bobby's book is a gospel about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. My book goes one step further and presents words of wisdom and prophecy directly from the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Really."

Smith, who claims to be an ardent supporter of Henderson, nevertheless employs in his book a spiritual technique nowhere sanctioned on Henderson's official FSM web site (

In an attempt to make what he describes as "deeply spiritual points through humor," Smith uses special anagrams accompanied by illuminating commentary. For example, in one set of "Spaghettigrams,” generated by rearranging the letters in the phrase "Love and the Flying Spaghetti Monster," Smith unveils the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s somewhat cautious view of human affection:

· "Top-heavy, handsomest, negligent flirt"

· "Test-driving of shapely, hot gentleman"

· "God-given nymph of stealthier talents"

Smith used advanced computer technology to examine over 1,000,000 Flying Spaghetti Monster anagrams to select the most pithy, witty, sexy, and occasionally off-color. Some of Smith’s Spaghettigrams are of particular interest to gays and lesbians. When considering the six words “Christianity and the Flying Spaghetti Monster,” Smith reveals this anagram: “Almighty sycophant is threatening, if strident.” One bit of revealed wisdom, direct from the FSM, for “Catholicism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster” is the anagram “Empathetic Almighty not chastising fondlers.”

An anagram for “Religious fundamentalism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster” is even more revealing: “Maggot’s different-shaped ornament humiliates insultingly.” But “Homosexuality and the Flying Spaghetti Monster” is no problem, as revealed in this celebratory anagram: “O My God! Healthful, tasty astonishing experiment.” There's more, over 10,000 uncensored Spaghettigrams.

Smith's goal, as he describes it, is undoubtedly ambitious - "to inspire those of all beliefs to put aside the superficial prejudices, distorted thinking, and superstition that can cloud one's vision and interfere with authentic spirituality."

Whether or not the FSM movement, which has lobbied to be considered by school boards alongside other theories of intelligent design, will embrace Smith's ideas remains to be seen.