News, Wit & Commentary for Lesbians
JIC Post: From Newsday's "Ask Amy" columnDEAR AMY: My daughter is gay, and she has gay friends who have children - they are loving and devoted parents, and have a good supportive circle of friends. I'm worried about what it will be like for these children when they go into the general school population. Knowing how children can be horribly cruel to those who have families who are "different," I wonder how these children will manage. I know that even abundant love cannot equip children to withstand the hurts hurled at them by schoolmates. I struggle with the issues that surround having a child who is gay. No support group or PFLAG or faith or inner strength can ever prepare you for the day a child tells you they are gay. There is so much hostility toward them, still, and society is largely biased against them. Only families who have some in their numbers who are gay can appreciate the angst that comes along with it. I'm sure you receive a ton of hate mail for your supportive attitude. So many will not take a stand in support of what they refer to as the alternative lifestyle - though in my heart, I believe it is genetic, not a "choice."Just Her MomDEAR MOM: Despite your words of support toward your daughter, it is obvious that her sexuality makes you sad. Because you can't change the way she is, I hope you'll work hard to explore your own feelings of sadness or ambivalence.You should know that there is now a segment of college-age people who have grown up in same-sex- parent households, and as far as anyone can tell, these young people have suffered from the slings and arrows of their lives no more or less than other children. Gay parents, it turns out, are about as skilled as straight parents. Children are probably no more or less cruel than they ever were, but it is no longer that remarkable for Heather to have two mommies.
Betcha a finely-crafted microbrew that Mom was totally in denial about her daughter until the grandkids started showing up and has no clue about the harrassment her own daughter enduring growing up queer...
Sounds like Asked Amy whacked the right mole on the head with her assessment. This Mom means well but is seems she may still have some unresolved issues with having a queer kid herself. Besides, if a kid isn't picked on for having gay parents, it'll just be something else. I would venture to guess that very few adults have escaped the elementary school playground emotionally or physically unscathed.Jules
Ditto Jules. And some people need to be sent back to the playground so they can remember what it's like. That sage advice of "Oh, just ignore them" doesn't work when you're a kid being called names and being smacked around because you're different. Or, heaven forbid, carrying the wrong lunchbox.
Post a Comment